Beirut once carried the Latin epithet Nutrix Legum, Mother of Laws, for teaching the Roman Empire how to write them; this anthem walks the city that came after — Hamra, the Corniche, Bourj Hammoud, a downtown rebuilt as a marble mall nobody visits — with two Lebanese leads trading Nahawand and Hijaz over darbuka, oud and walking bass, every joke here a verified fact, and the bridge stops laughing entirely.